a little about me
Welcome, I'm Suzy
This was the hardest bio I have ever written because it is so deeply personal. My stress, anxieties, traumas, and depression have always been my secret shames that I worked very hard to hide from others and ignore inside.
Honestly I thought there was
something wrong with me and
I didn't want anyone to know.
Sound familiar?
and this is
My Story
So you don't have to
When I finally did seek professional help for my own nervous system disregulation, it didn't solve my suffering. There were medications with side effects, therapists that kept me stuck. So I had to figure out how to heal myself.
When ignoring my anxiey, panic and depression didn't work, I tried to outrun, numb and medicate it all away.
I walked through the fire
in my childhood. I remember often feeling guarded and nervous. Most people probably couldn’t tell as I was a high achiever, a happy and polite little girl with a loving family, good friends and a good life.
What could I possibly have to worry about? That was the story I always told myself, like it was my fault that my nervous system was reacting this way.
It all started...
My first puppy
Snowy
Friday night. TGI Fridays in Huntington, Long Island. It was the summer between third and fourth grade and I was changing schools the following fall. This was already making me nervous. But that night my parents took my brother and I out to eat. TGI Fridays had just opened in our town and was THE new cool place to go to.
First panic attack...summer '85
TGI Fridays Huntington, NY
It was loud, crowded and FULL OF CHAOTIC ENERGY. Waiters wore suspenders with whacky buttons. The walls were covered with old beer neon lights and funny, vintage posters. The table mats were made for kids, with games and puzzles and stuff to color with the crayons sitting at every table. The food was different than other restaurants and was meant to be FUN!
Out of nowhere, I felt nervous and panicky.My stomach seized. I was nauseous. “Oh God”, I thought. “I’m going to throw up in the middle of a crowded restaurant. I’ll be mortified. I need to get out of here.”
My parents didn't know what was wrong but they let me lay down in the car. I was hungry, but my sympathetic nervous system was activated (fight or flight... I was in flight!) and even though nothing was threatening me in that moment, my body was acting like my life was in danger. I couldn't eat and for the remainder of the summer, I barely ate a thing.
My brother's birthday was at the end of summer. I remember putting on my dress for his party and when I pulled my belt to where I normally wore it, it just kept going and going. I looked down. I had lost A LOT of weight.
Something magical happened that day though, which I only understand now. That afternoon, when all the kids at the party started playing soccer in our backyard and I joined in (cause I loved me some soccer), my body and mind forgot the worry, forgot the nausea. I played and moved my body which reset my disregulated nervous system from fight or flight to rest and digest. I got hungry enough to eat and I felt normal again. Through play, exercise and social connection, my body rebounded. I got through my first day at my new school and all was right in my world… for the time being.
Saved by play
It affected my confidence, my self esteem, my dating life, my friendships and relationships... it touched every part of my life. It wasn't until my senior year of college, after a particular trauma, that I started therapy.
And it helped. I don't care who you are, we all have some deep issues that we need to work through in life and I was no different. Therapy is like looking under the hood of your car to make sure the system is working well. It is so you can understand yourself better and clean up the cobwebs of the past. But to heal my anxiety? Depression? Panic Attacks?
For that, doctors and therapists didn’t help nor did they explain what was going on (truth be told, I don't think at the time they knew). Their solution? Drugs with horrible side effects that didn’t work, on top of being horribly addictive.
I Did It!
So I had to learn how to heal myself. I had to figure out why my nervous system was out of whack and how to grapple with my head. It took many years of therapy, a bachelors in Psychology from UC Berkeley, hundreds of self help books, introspection, journaling, meditation, body work and an undeterred desire to feel better.
It has been my personal life’s work to wrestle with my body and mind and find ways to tame the anxiety, uplift the depression, change my mindset and not react to the stressors that happen to come with everyone’s life. And you know what?
Sometimes my nervous system disregulation stopped me in my tracks and sometimes I was able to trudge through it but it all made it impossible to enjoy my life.
That was the first time I remember my life being severely interrupted by panic but not the last. After that, I’ve had various bouts with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and burnout and they all interrupted my life.
There are ways to get back to balance and feel happy and calm, despite the cyclone of chaos that may be whirling around you. So I decided to teach what I know and became a stress and anxiety coach. Because not only did I get an early and intense education into the land of a disregulated nervous system, I also happen to have had unique experiences along the way that unknowingly at the time, made me uniquely qualified to do this work.
I had always thought my sensitive reactions to the world was a curse. I certainly felt cursed in the past. But really it has been one of my gifts. I am not alone in being an anxious stressball or a sad princess, which is what my grandmother called me. Life in this day and age is more intense and stressful than ever before and there are reasons that our bodies are responding this way. It is not just our genes, as modern medicine would have us think, easily swept under the rug by a pill.
I have a bachelors degree in Psychology from UC Berkeley. After graduation, I pursued my passion of performing as a professional actress and voice over artist. An actor’s instrument is their body and I had years of practice of both relaxing and connecting with my body with various techniques, such as breath work, Fitzmaurice Voicework, Alexander Technique, yoga and vocal training. Relaxation is a must for an actor.
Always the entrepreneur, while pursuing acting professionally, I became a licensed massage therapist and energy healer. When in school, I received hundreds of hours of bodywork. We were told that because of all the bodywork we would be receiving, some of us may have emotional releases aka some of us may bawl our eyes out. I was the first to win that race and it became plainly obvious to me that there is no separation between the body and the mind.
I started my own private massage practice and worked with hundreds of clients over 12 years.
During that time I also had a blast co-hosting the Food Heals Podcast:
In addition to supportive nutrition, I have earned tools, techniques, and even some technology that calmed my body mind, stopped my negative and fearful thinking and gave me resiliency in order to live the life a happy life.
Sounds pretty great, right?
What worked for me was a mind, body and spirit approach.
And now I teach this approach to others so they too can live their best lives.
I look forward to helping you on your zen journey!
I married another entrepreneur, my husband Michael. Together, we started a hemp CBD brand, CBD Fountain, which I stared You can find it on our marketplace for wellness products, www.Feeliyo.com. and our focus was to create organic, vegan hemp CBD products to help people’s bodies heal naturally.
Everything I created was to help either myself, friends, family or pets relieve anxiety, pain and inflammation.
Now, I'm putting it all together
we talked about natural health and wellness, mind body connection and entrepreneurism.
I currently live in Los Angeles with my gorgeous husband Mike and two snuggly sheepadoodles:
Ernie and Rosie.
