Anxiety IS Fear of the Future…So What Are You Afraid Of?

I can’t remember where I heard this.  And I pride myself on my memory so it really bothers me that I can’t remember.  But this is it:

Anxiety is fear of the future.

I know for a FACT that I did not hear this from the two psychiatrists nor the more than twelve or so therapists I have seen in my life thus far.  But I do remember when I heard this, that it blew open my mind, because it is SO TRUE.  Memorize this.  Because if you are suffering from anxiety (and let’s face it, you wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t) and really want to break free from it (like I did), cementing this understanding will help you do that.

I’ll write it again.  Anxiety is fear of the future.  So what are you afraid of?

It goes like this.  Depression is regretting or mourning the past.  Anxiety is fear of threat, real or imagined, that has not happened yet but is waiting for you in the future.  If you are actually under threat, say a bear is chasing you in the woods, your sympathetic nervous system has kicked in and the fight or flight response has you running as fast as you can.  This isn’t anxiety.  Anxiety is sitting on the couch, worrying about your upcoming camping trip to Yosemite and did you pack enough food and do you need bug spray and oh god, did you pay the bill that is due and what if there are bears?  That is anxiety.  And doesn’t it suck?

Yes, it sucks.  It sucks because whether you are anxious or depressed, the point of power of your life and the point of joy and ecstasy and wonder and happiness are all found in the present.  But if you are plagued by anxiety and/or depression, as so many of us are in this day and age, then you are not present.  You are stuck being sad about the past or freaking out about the future.  And speaking from experience, it can rob you of your life.

It doesn’t matter how you got here.  I firmly believe EVERYONE can benefit from finding and working with the right therapist.  Trained therapists help you lift the lid off the boiling lobster pot that is your past and we all have our sh*t to sort through, believe me.  However, you can spend years in therapy, as I did, and still feel stressed, anxious and depressed.  That is where coaching comes in.

For while I am grateful to the mental health professionals I have worked with, I truly had to curate tools and techniques that would get me into the present.   Worrying about the future did not help me create the future I wanted.  It kept me spinning my wheels, treading water, like a hamster on a wheel stuck in his cage, dreaming of running through a field of flowers but stuck on cold metal, with nothing but the same metal steps circling over and over and over.             If you are plagued with anxiety, you have to figure out what you are afraid of and then confront that, gently and calmly.  There are many ways to do this and I use different tools at different times, because there is no one way that will work for everyone at everytime. Even for myself, sometimes I need to meditate.  Sometimes I need to go running or knit or pet my dog or talk to my best friend.  Othertimes, I pull out the big guns, like the techniques I teach in my Skool, Collectively Calm.  Do you want to get stress and anxiety coaching for free?  Sign up for free Skool here and I’ll send you instant access so you can start learning how to slay stress and alleviate anxiety NOW!  Because you don’t have to suffer.  You just have to want to feel better.  And you can.  You will.   I’ll see you inside.